oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
