I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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