If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
