Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
