So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
