Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
