is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
