So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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