At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
