"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
