walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
