please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
