It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
