Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
