So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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