A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
