I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
