I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
