Nicole vs. Life
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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