I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
