I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
