I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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