Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
