It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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