Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
