I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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