thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is my gift to your gina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
