I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
