Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
