Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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