atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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