I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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