the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
