I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
