I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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