What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
