Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
