I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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