New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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