I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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