Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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