I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
