She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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