You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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