Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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