The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
