he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
