I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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