Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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