We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
