Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
