Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As shirtless as possible
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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